When we married in our 50s, Harriet was involved in so many activities as Levi, she didn't want to change her name. I had no problem with that.
A few years ago she told me she was going to change her name to Deemer. I researched the matter and advised against it, given her age. If she started the process but died before it was finished, she could create a nightmare for heirs dealing with various institutions. I found some horror stories.
I suggested keeping her legal name but using Deemer when she could. Thus, in the retirement facility where we live, she is known as Harriet Deemer.
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