The Plan

 I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Keeping busy reduces my grief.

I've arranged to return to VA health insurance. Since getting married, I've been piggybacking on Harriet's health plan at Kaiser. This will save me a significant amount of money.

I've arranged for her cremation and while at it am prepaying for my own. Harriet was my last connection, so to speak, and now I am a man without next of kin. I've outlived all my family and friends. Imagine!  No next of kin.

Harriet's oldest son has agreed to play the role of next of kin after I pass. Paying for my cremation now will simplify things for him.

I have a plan for dealing with much that needs to be done.

1. De-clutter the apartmnt. We were the Mothership of Clutter, believe me. After her heart attack and minor brain damage, she no longer did housework. When I did it, she wouldn't let me get rid of anything unless she went through it, which she never did. I didn't make an issue of it because I was now her caretaker and a nervous wreck. I also had my own aging issues. We were the half-blind leading the blind.

2. The clutter gone, I 'll deal with her belongings. Her son who lives in Portland will help me as needed. What I dread most is going through two closets of clothes. She has things she hadn't worn since meeting me.

3. The next step is to address my new life. I'll do a major downsize, gettinng rid of about 75% of the furniture here. Kitchen cupboards stuffed with dishes now will have only a couple plates and coffee cups. There will be nothing in the freezer except ice cubes, ice cream and a couple meals. The space will look more like a Zen church than an apartment.

4. Finally I have to evaluate whether I can afford to stay here. I lose Harriet's income, and she made the major contribution to our finances. Fortunately I recently came into some unexpected money, which takes the pressure off me for a while.